He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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