and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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