New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
