he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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