so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
