In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
