i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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