Your face is a jimmy john
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
