It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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