I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize