Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
