I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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