whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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