Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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