no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
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I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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