I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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