I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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