dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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