2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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