we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
