I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
