He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I will be naked everywhere
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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