she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
