Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
