Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
