When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
