Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
