a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just had sex bonerless
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
