How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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