Its about making memories worth repressing
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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