Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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