im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry about my life...
i think i just lost a toe
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
