Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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