sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
