i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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