Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
