i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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