you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
