did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish i was in the wii world.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
