some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
