I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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