NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
me + whiskey = a bad person
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
