she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
