I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize