you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we're so committed to being not committed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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