I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
