My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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