Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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