They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
