you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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