y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
