Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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