What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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