Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
