I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize