Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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