No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
