Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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