Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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