You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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