But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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