Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
