never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
