Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't tell me you're on acid again
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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